My mind is constantly going ten to the dozen, often resulting in my mouth talking gibberish whilst my brain has sped ahead leaving my concentration dragging its feet on the floor behind me.
I am desperate to be the creative type who floats through meadows in ethereal gowns adorning a crown of flowers strung together effortlessly that morning, before creating a masterpiece for the world to behold (or buy… yes that would be a bonus). I want to be this hyperbolic stereotype!
No, in all seriousness I just want to be creative. Problem is I am not a completer-finisher (character tests told me this some years back but my wonderful stubbornness scoffed at them), I also want perfection to come before practice. And one glaring issue is I’m not, erm, creative! In my quest for artistic flare I have found that I’m quite good at emulating a few things but I do not seem to excel naturally at anything in particular – I’m a good imitator at best. I WANT TO BE ORIGINAL GODDAMMIT!
Growing up I dabbled in diy projects:
Firstly there was sewing, which was very shoddy. Didn’t quite make the wardrobe of clothes I wanted to and lost a few t-shirts in the process. Although my one-eyed bear is still holding himself together!
Then for many years I played the piano. This is where I discovered my lazy tendencies as my 11 year old self realised it was easier to study the music at night and learn it off by heart so I didn’t have to read music on demand. The teacher didn’t notice thankfully, no, it was the constant reminder from her ruler that my hands were too small that butchered this hobby.
And glossing over many more disasters until we get to present day where my new found hobby is Watercolour painting! But don’t laugh just yet, its not as catastrophic as you might have bet. Initially my inability to draw caused me to procrastinate and doubt myself, so I asked trusty Google if it was OK for me to paint when I can’t draw…. I found the answer I wanted on an art forum (ignoring the rest) and so it began! YouTube has been an invaluable teacher and I have found myself being able to recreate paintings from the tutorials…. the test is whether i can actually learn enough to paint something all by myself. I bloody hope so, I have grand visions of artwork for my Melbourne home. Alas I fear limitation by imitation is lurking in the background waiting to hijack me and spill my creative juice. Only time will tell, so watch this space!
Although I guess I also have this blog too. I’ve not picked it up in a while as a cruel twist of fate filled my world with sadness, that i quite frankly didn’t want to inflict on you through somber posts. But I’m BACK! So the blog is not yet ready for my ‘failed projects’ pile – i think I will just take this as a win for today. You’ve got to get your boots somewhere 🙂
If anyone has any interesting creative outlets for me to consider I would definitely be up for trying! I’m determined to find my spot in this world, perhaps you can help.
Ah, its nice to be back.